


The T-Shirt You Sleep in

by spencerreidiculous



Series: Relevations [1]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/M, Hurt Spencer Reid, Hurts So Good, Kidnapped Spencer Reid, Ouch, Sad Spencer Reid
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:07:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25887817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spencerreidiculous/pseuds/spencerreidiculous
Summary: When Spencer Reid got kidnapped by Tobias Hankle, the B.A.U calls you in to help find clues about his whereabouts.After all, he's the love of your life and you know him better than anyone else.But can you take the pressure and emotions that come with seeing him in such pain?
Relationships: Spencer Reid/Reader, Spencer Reid/You
Series: Relevations [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1878574
Comments: 10
Kudos: 21





	The T-Shirt You Sleep in

Cold rain droplets landed softly on my skin the moment I stepped on the sidewalk. I jogged down the street, puddles of water splashing under the soles of my shoes. I fumbled to open my umbrella. Luckily, I lived close to my workplace, so I arrived at my doorstep fairly swiftly.

Don’t get me wrong though, the rain doesn’t bother me. I actually quite enjoy it; the way it smells, and the calming pitter-patter of every droplet falling to the ground calmed my thoughts, to a point where I could stop thinking, and just enjoy what was going on around me. I didn’t get that very often in my life.

I rummaged through my pockets to find my keys, while simultaneously balancing the umbrella in my arms. Finally, I sighed in relief as I gripped my set of keys and unlocked the door. Spence would kill me if I lost them another time! I took my shoes off and threw my jacket onto the couch beside me, pulling out my phone to check my messages.

**_1 missed call from Spence at 6.37 pm._ **

_Huh, he usually never calls me this early, I should call back._

As the phone rang once, twice, I wondered if he had another case to solve and wouldn’t come home that night, like so many times before. 

“ _Hey honey_!” His soft voice was like honey to my ears.

“ _Hey babe, you called_?” You questioned, still hoping that he would get to come home for the night.

“ _Yeah, I wanted to let you know I’d be home soon. We finished a case and might go out for a drink soon. You should come if you want! But I actually can’t wait to finally come home and just enjoy a night off with you…_ ” He said.

“ _That’s great! – No, you go out for drinks and enjoy yourselves. I’ll see you at home in a bit._ ” As my excitement grew, I jumped off the couch and walked around the apartment, phone between my shoulder and my ear, staring at the mismatched socks I was wearing, which I had stolen from him. 

“ _Alright, well- I’ll see you soon. Love you_!” He said.

“ _Love you too_!” I replied, the excitement in my voice apparent as I hung up the phone.

The times Reid had the night off were few and far between, but that made the evenings he did spend with me even more meaningful. Sure, he might come home most every night, but him sneaking into bed in the middle of the night, (and inevitably waking me up by spooning me), wasn’t the same as getting to eat dinner with him, watch a movie, or go out, and finally fall asleep in each other’s arms.

Nevertheless, I understand. His job is special and he saves lives every day, so in the long run, I am never mad at him for working late.

Cheery music filled the room as I put on our favorite song, reminding me of all the times we’ve listened to it together. The beautiful thing about Reid is, that he knows how to value time. That means that, even if he is exhausted, he’ll try to spend some time with me. His inexhaustible dedication to prove how important I am to him, no matter how many times I tell him he doesn’t have to prove anything, is one of the things that made me fall in love with him. I found myself standing in the kitchen, which I shamefully admit, we haven’t used too much yet since we moved in. We have the occasional breakfast together, or every once in a while, we’ll have Brunch with the B.A.U team at our place.

I have to admit, when I first started dating him I was terrified of meeting them. The way Reid described them, it felt like I had to meet his entire family, but about ten times more intense. And I knew that they could read me like an open book when they saw me. When I met them though, I immediately felt like I was part of their family. Turns out, Reid didn’t just speak of the team highly to me, but the other way around too.

I opened the fridge, scanning the ingredients I had available for some time. Inspiration didn’t strike so I browsed through one of the many unused cookbooks we had sitting around. As much as I love Spence, that man has no idea how to cook. And the reason he doesn’t let me cook all that often, is because he doesn’t want to make me do something just because he can’t. In the end, I love ordering food anyways, so it really doesn’t bother me.

I stopped on a page that looked like it would taste good and it seemed as though all the ingredients were there.

And for a while I cooked, listened to music and just enjoyed the excitement I got (even after all the time being with him!) from knowing he was all mine today.

An hour or so later, I was finally done with cooking. I knew he’d be excited, since I made Gnocchi. It’s one of his favorites, but he hates ordering it because the restaurants “get the sauce all wrong”, so I make it for him every once in a while. Funnily enough though, he appreciates it so much, that he won’t even let a tiny peace go to waste. He’ll eat and eat until he can’t stuff anything into his mouth anymore, and he’ll be too nice to admit that, yes, he did overdo it.

_08.29 PM._ I checked the time on my phone. I had expected he’d be home by now… He’s probably enjoying himself at the bar, no big deal, I’ll wait for him.

I plopped down on the sofa and had to physically resist grabbing a plate of food before he came home, even though I was starving already.

The soft leather of the book I had grabbed felt so familiar underneath my fingers, I opened it back up on the page I had stopped reading on the night before and traced the old pages with my fingertips. I continued reading where I had left off and quickly disappeared into another world.

  
That was one of the many blessings of living with Reid. He appreciates a good book just as much as I do. Our whole apartment was filled with old books, new books, and most importantly; love. This meant more to me than to the average person though. I had never, ever said _I love you_ to anyone in my life before Reid. I told him that, once things became more serious between us, and that’s when he told me, that the only person he’d ever said it to was his mom. So, when we did say it, we both knew what it meant.

He said it first, and immediately after, began rambling about how men are more likely to say it first, and how 39% of men say it in the first month of being with someone, but the average time for a man to admit they’re in love is 88 days, compared to a woman’s 134- He would’ve probably gone on for a while, like he does when he’s nervous, but I said it back, which left him speechless.

I had turned more pages than I could remember, before I checked on the time again.

_11.44 PM._ The bright light shone back at me. Wow- I’ve been sitting here for a while. He would’ve called, wouldn’t he? He said he’d be home soon. It’s been hours. I had no choice but to feel worried, when Spence says he’ll do something- he will. I dialed up Morgan’s number and waited… One ring – two rings – three rings… Nothing. I hung up. In hopes of just being a worried girlfriend, I convinced myself to just wait a bit, and that there was a perfectly reasonable explanation to all this.

I found myself in the bedroom. My palms had become sweaty at this point and my appetite was gone. I lay down on the bed, still perfectly made from that morning. Reid’s always been particular about that. His silly socks that were holding my feet warm were practically staring at me. I stretched out my legs above me, and stared at the socks. A million thoughts flooded my head as to where Reid might be. None of them good. Every thought in my mind was about him, and they got louder with each passing second. I was never the obsessive girlfriend. I’m still not obsessive! But it’s different to worry about someone and just be plain obsessive. I don’t call him a million times a day. I don’t control him, or worry about his loyalty. That’s why we work: I’ve always been able to trust him, fully. And that was a first for me. The relationships I’ve had before him… weren’t the best for me and had left me with trust issues. Reid was just… different.

I let my body roll over to the side as I grabbed a pillow and pulled it close to my body. All I could bring myself to do at this point was to stare at the wall and get lost in my thoughts.

_12.02 AM._ I checked my phone again. The emptiness on the screen was a heavy blow to my gut, as I felt my stomach drop and my face heat up. What on earth was going on?! I couldn’t lie down anymore, since my stomach was turning into knots, and my frustration grew. For a moment I paced around the room, biting my lip until it was sore. My eyes were drawn again and again, to the neatly folded gray shirt he sleeps in. The way he looked just this morning when he woke up in it, with his messy hair springing in all directions and a goofy, tired smile greeting you, was enough to make my eyes burn with unshed tears and my throat tighten up. I greedily grabbed it and switched my shirt to his. His familiar scent hit me all of a sudden, which released the unwelcome tears drop by drop. My body fell back onto the bed. The tears left a salty taste on my lips. I’d much rather have the taste of his lips on mine just about now. I blinked away the tears and took a deep breath.

_Was I being far too dramatic? Or was my worry accounted for? No… I know- I know for a fact that he would’ve let me know somehow what was going on. He knows exactly how much I worry about him and his job._

I gripped my phone tightly.

12.06 AM. Minutes seemed to pass slower and slower. I called him again. Of course, no answer. I waited for his voicemail and sat up on the bed while wiping away my tears sloppily.

“… _and uh- leave a message, after the tone.”_ His goofy voicemail echoed back at you, of course, he had to have recorded his own voicemail. Now, every word spoken in his honey-sweet voice blew a hevy punch at your stomach.

“ _uh… Hey Hun. I just- I wanted to ask where you were? I know you usually work late- but you said you’d be home soon- I’m just really worried. I, uh, maybe I’m just being irrational. Well, I hope I am- You know.. I- I miss you. I hope everything’s okay and you’re just-_ “

My voice broke several times. The voicemail tone interrupted me before I could finish talking.

I let my face hit the pillow again, curling up into the bed. I wished he could hold me right now. As the warm tears soaked a spot on my pillow, I weighed out the options I had at this point.

I was either being dramatic and he just lost track of time, or got stuck back in the office.

Or, the immensely worse option, something happened to him. His job isn’t easy, and he goes after the worst of people on this planet every day, it’s no surprise the job comes with a risk. But- I mean, he was at the bar just hours ago, how quickly can things go wrong?!

  
Well, I hope I’m just being overly dramatic.

I couldn’t take it anymore, so I called JJ. No answer.

I tried Gideon. No answer.

Hotch, also nothing.

I tried Garcia, she always picks up.

This time she didn’t.

  
That was enough to get my off my ass and check the office. As I drove through the city, I recklessly disregarded the speed limit. The cold rain droplets reflected the city lights in golden tones, and the soft sound of my wheels driving through puddles offered me some comfort. I parked across three parking spots and didn’t even lock the door. As I skipped over the steps I burst into the B.A.U. office and was met with several faces staring at me, but none of them were Spencer’s. I turned to the closest officer I found and asked him where Reid and the others were.

“Uh… I’m pretty sure they flew out to Atlanta, Georgia a while ago. Think they got a new case… “ He mumbled.

“Wha- Atlanta? …thanks.” I said while I rushed out the door.

Once again, I was driving across the city, but this time I followed the road signs which pointed to the airport. I hastily parked the car and ran to the next ticket booth. The airport was empty, only the occasional business man or lonely traveler scattered across the place. I checked my phone again, still no messages. If Reid flew out to Atlanta, he would’ve called me the second the wheels hit the ground. Something was definitely wrong.

As it was my turn to step up in line, I hastily fished my passport out of my bag and handed it to the lady.

“Hey, I’d like a, uh- a ticket to the next flight to Atlanta, Georgia please…” I stumbled over my words.

“You’re lucky. Next flight is in a bit more than an hour.” The lady at the booth said while typing at her keyboard.

A sigh of relief escaped me as I paid for the ticket and thanked her.

I walked through security, and made my way to the gate. All the other travelers which I passed on my way had suitcases, bags or backpacks. But I felt vulnerable, looking down at myself, all I had was my phone, my handbag and Spencer’s shirt on me. Not even a jacket. I wondered if Atlanta was cold this time of the year…

  
All I had while I was in the plane, were me and my thoughts. It was almost ridiculous, seeing everyone else on that plane. People sleeping, reading. I couldn’t imagine doing anything else right now. Must be nice. My fingernails looked as I’ve they’ve been chewed up by rats, a bad habit of mine. 

Moments filled with anxiety and worry later, the seatbelt-sign blinked on and the rumbling of the wheels underneath the plane indicated we were landing. The reflecting lights of the city underneath me looked so calm. So normal. But nothing was normal at that point.

The second the plane hit the ground, I turned my phone on again, in hopes to see a message from Reid, explaining that everything was alright.

There was no such message. But I did have a missed call from Hotch, so I immediately dialed his number.

A couple beeps later, he picked up.

“Hotch? Please tell me everything is fine.”

“Uh- well. I’m actually calling you because of that. We need you here… In Virginia.” He hesitantly spoke.

“Wha- Yeah, I just landed, actually. I’m really worried, Reid didn’t answer any of my calls. He was supposed to be home hours ago. Is he okay?!” I said, while climbing over the woman who sat next to me in an attempt to get out of the plane as soon as possible.

“I… can’t explain right now. Get here as soon as possible. I’ll send an officer to pick you up at the airport.” He said, guilt biting his monotone voice.

My head was spinning, I barely had any idea where I was at that moment. A member of cabin crew tried to talk to me, but her voice was muffled and inaudible. Sharp breaths stung the back of my throat and my face flooded with heat. I stumbled out of the plane and airport as quickly as I could. Everything passed me in a blur and every thought in my mind was barely comprehensive. I was drowning.

A man in a dark suit approached me, obviously looking like F.B.I. He presented his badge to me as he introduced himself.

“Miss? I’m Agent Davis, picking you up – Is… everything okay?” He put a comforting hand on my shoulder as he realized I wasn’t looking to good.

“Y- Yeah, please just… can we go?” I managed to mumble out.

“Of course.” He said and led the way to the car.

The ride went by in a blur, nothing really going through my mind. My fingers fidgeted the entire time, as I tried to calm myself down. The Agent tried to start some small-talk occasionally, but I replied in soft _aha_ ’s and quiet _yes_ or _no_ ’s. The occasional _the flight was good_ , or _yeah, Quantico is cold this time of year…_ escaped my mouth too.

I jumped out of the car as soon as we arrived at the dreadful looking house, which was surrounded by parked black vans. I was not ready to see what was on the other side of that door. Before I could decide for myself though, Hotch swung open the door, worry written all over his face.

“Where is he? Is he oka- What’s wrong, Hotch?” The words shot out of my mouth at a hundred miles a second.

“Come in…” He said quietly, while leading me through the entrance.

The place looked like a mess. As we walked into the kitchen, the whole team stared at me. Derek was frowning, Garcia was biting her lip- Even Garcia was there! I knew it was bad at that point. The only face missing was Reid’s. There were papers and files sprawled out on the tables. But the moment I spotted the murderboard, and saw pictures of victims, all the blood and close-ups of every single wound, I felt my face turn white. I couldn’t stop my eyes from trailing around the room. One side of it looked tidy, the other one completely messy. I had no idea what this was all about but I knew Reid was in trouble.

Morgan softly said my name, but I had to practically pull my eyes away from the evidence and look at him.

“Reid… Was kidnapped by the unsub. We believe the unsub deals with multiple personality disorder and has been killing people that one of his personalities believes were sinners. Well- JJ and Reid went off to question what they thought would be a witness, but it was the unsub; Tobias Hankle. We’re currently trying to find out where he’s holding him…” Morgan explained.

I had so many questions, so much to say. But I couldn’t move, couldn’t speak. All my worries and suspicions were right, and my biggest fear had come true. I plopped down on a chair and my eyes slowly refocused on JJ. She looked different. Her usual motivation, her spark, were gone. She looked hopeless.

“Wha- Ho-“ I tried formulating one of the hundreds of questions which were bouncing around in my mind into words.

“How do you know he’s alive?” My voice broke as I asked the question to which I dreaded the answer the most.

“He- uh… Tobias live-streamed a video of him to us…” Garcia spoke up. She was probably the only one who was as vulnerable to this all as I was. Everyone else here was used to seeing crime scenes, bodies, blood. But knowing that Reid was in the hands of the man who had done the things I saw on the pictures, felt like I was being stabbed repeatedly.

Before I could go off on a tangent Hotch stepped in.

“We thought you could help… You know Reid the best and if he’s trying to tell us something, you’ll be the one to figure it out.” He said.

I looked at the pictures again, not knowing if I was ready to see Reid in whatever condition he was in… But if I could help getting him back in any way, I would.

“I wish it was me. In his place. He’d know exactly what to do…” I murmured.

**Author's Note:**

> A 3 part series to cement my love for this man. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy! 
> 
> P.S: Is it obvious I like rain...?


End file.
